Peewiglet maims Piglet (Alan writes)…

Poor Piglet being comforted, with wounded claw

This is being written very very silently in the privacy of a room far far away from where Shirl is slaughtering a free range chicken.

This Gurl is used to the sight of blood – to start with, I came home from the Borders with half my hand hanging off, with the Gurl covered in my crimson stuff and now she is hacking to death some poor unfortunate feathered friend to satisfy her blood lust.

Only half an hour or so ago she was discovered butchering poor little Piglet’s paws, under the pretence of clipping them…. Blood all over the kitchen, her jeans and half a toilet roll to mop it all up.

If you don’t hear from me again, don’t let her into your home if she comes a visiting. And don’t let her have anything sharp…

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4 Responses to Peewiglet maims Piglet (Alan writes)…

  1. Alan says:

    Well Alan you know that the Law business is cut throat and they wouldn’t think twice about stabbing someone in the back, so be afraid Alan be very afraid.
    Lol.
    Just joking Shirl honest! I like you really.
    Cut! Ouch.

  2. DB (Byeways) says:

    Alan, that incident with the barbed wire; any chance you might have been pushed?

    Been reading about your injury and subsequent recovery on the plog. Sounds pretty gory; good luck with the (hopefully rapid) recovery.

  3. Mango Terrier says:

    Piglet me oul mucker. I can send my brother down to sort this in a trice. Just say the word, capice? Your mistress has a great future. In concrete.

    Ciao, bella!

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